non sequitor

springtime will kill you
78.2% water
counting blue cars


it's not that the blog turned into something,
it's just time to start something new.

my whole world flipped.
new blog:
http://andsheasksmanyquesitons.blogspot.com/

another testament to one of my favorite songs

love.

getting nowhere fast and the springtime that is here

sitting and writing
cheap poetry and simple words
to give a solemn goodbye
to an old world
where my letters no longer
stay on the lines.
yes.
to this another goodbye...
and an old song sings "outside
the rain is falling on the leave.."
to me it's something more
an open door where rhyming
makes something lovely
and
and leaves it at the threshold.
something quiet our loud
I can't really tell (either way)
what's on the other side...
and six simple words,
almost nothing, left years ago
at the bottom of a page.
gutter words.
where the most beautiful things
spend their times:
"i hope the colors overwhelm you."

let's get physical.

literally.
literally.
this explains the last month of my life. not in some emo hippie way (which, i'll admit, is something like the nature of seattle's young adult life), but. god. the choreography is fucking beautiful- it doesn't even need the words of this song, but then the song just makes it twenty times better. i've now watched all of kate jablonski's videos- she speaks novels through dance. and so i've been dancing more again, too. and singing. painting. crying. living.

i mean, come on, this song is beautiful. hello life.

tape. tapetapetape.

and sometimes it's like i try too hard to find answers
and other times it's like i ask for help before i try too hard.


i often have to remind myself that life doesn't work like a math problem- that each action does not necessarily result in a calculated reaction... and i remind myself...but..... i still wish everything could be calculated... planned out... you know.... but it never is
it hardly is.
but i try to figure it out
and i feel

i feel like i'm trying to open my eyes before i'm finished counting out a long game of hide and seek.
but my eyes are already opened.
and math is not a life problem
(or, rather, life is not a math problem).


i don't know.

and i told her 'i'm just making this more complicated"

i though i saw a rainbow today.
i thought i saw it when i was looking the other way.
i thought i saw it out of the corner of my eye, and i saw it dancing out of the grey clouds down a hill behind the trees where a boy told me he used to think a green monster lived. i could feel it, too, but when i looked it in the eye it disappeared before i could count the colors or the moments of its existence. i felt something more beautiful and more alive than anything i could imagine or reach out to or touch. i felt it, though, and i couldn't have been mistaken because a rainbow is more perfect than you and me, and as innocent as a baby or a sweet and silent dream.
it isn't just as much as it is.
the minutes passed in thoughts and words before time and structure left me standing alone on the pavement with nothing but my feet to move me away from what i saw, but even still i i thought i saw a rainbow today.... and long after i left and sat down again, the rainbow followed me home. and it followed me more certainly than anything i could make up: more vivid than a dream and more present than myself. i think i was the only one, but i saw a rainbow today and i was not alone.

play it loud

i put this playlist together like.... two and a half years ago and i still listen to it all the time.
because
well
most of the songs talk about drinking coffee (okay, right, and a few are about smoking cigarettes, but i've been hanging around enough coffee shops to understand the two seem to go hand in hand).

"coffee shop soundtrack" - all time low
"lemurs, man, lemurs" - minus the bear
"soco amaretto lime" - brand new
"kevin is gay" - giant drag
"coffee & tv" - blur
"coffee shop" - red hot chili peppers
"the feel good drag" - amberlin
"aneurysm" - weezer (nirvana cover)
"my little japanese cigarette case" - spoon
"nights of the living dead" - tilly and the wall
"motorcycle drive by" - third eye blind
"cigarettes and chocolate milk" - rufus wainright
"cigarettes and alcohol" - oasis
"coffee break" - forever the sickest kids
"smelling cigarettes" - the fiery furnaces

"black coffee" - glassjaw.

i think you misinformed yourself, but i've been the one misguiding you, too.